Microsoft Buys Google for $200 Billion

Microsoft Buys Google for $200 Billion
The number one search engine on the planet has just announced the biggest deal to hit the internet since its YouTube buy. Microsoft has just made an offer for Google for the amount of $200,000,000,000 which is about $638 per share of the 137 million outstanding shares.

Google shares have plummeted to all time low of $41 per share on the news of the buyout, while Microsoft shares opened trading at an all time high of $121 this morning. Google is shipping its PageRank and search index which contains 1.34 Petabytes of data stored in over 550,000 tape drives over to Microsoft using 3,000 Armored Trucks, driving up north from Mountain View to Redmond. The 848 mile road trip will be overseen by law enforcement agencies both on the ground and in the air.

There is yet no official announcement as to what Microsoft plans to do with the new Google acquisition, but rumors are flying around that Microsoft plans to start selling a new search based operating system with a new built in software called Windows Internet Search that will perform web searches at an alarming fast rate using Google search. The new upgrade will cost around $149 for existing Windows Vista users. Microsoft has no plans of providing search functionality to Apple users.

Microsoft will also be offering a subscription based search to its customers starting next year that is said to incorporate the new Google logic. The search feature will provide subscribers with 10 Google searches per day starting at 0.99c.

In related news, Google announced that it is experiencing unusually high traffic today, as users of the search engine giant around the world are are frantically trying to back up the entire search engine’s database before Microsoft officially shuts it down in the coming weeks.

Google employees have made a pact to never give up and are voicing their disapproval of the announcement by forming their own Open Source startup search engine company called AprilFools that is expected to be a noteworthy replacement for the many fooled Google users worldwide.

1 Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Visited 19491 times, 2 so far today